Growing up, I spent every summer at a tiny Michigan lake. My mother and her siblings had also grown up there, as was the case with most of the other families. None of the front doors were locked and everyone was everyone else’s family member.
It was a paradise, except for the fact that there was really nothing to do whenever it was too chilly or rainy to be in the lake or the few pools. Besides the cottages (later to be sold as multi-million dollar lake houses!), there was only a massive wooden structure called The Big House.
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| Playing in the sandbox. |
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| Proudly displaying a baby tooth that just left my mouth. |
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The Big House was lined with pinball machines and had a jukebox, a restaurant (specializing in FROZEN pizzas) and a stage for the end-of-season talent show. Our only other options were horseback riding or going to a local pharmacy to purchase toys and games.
Nobody’s mother/grandmother/aunt (the men only came out on Wednesdays and weekends) ever considered it their job to entertain us. They were too busy playing cards or Mahjong or just hanging out, and the last thing they would have ever thought to do was to pay attention to the children. They never raised any of us to even expect that because it was their summer vacation, as well!
We were left on our own. The older kids would end up in our cabana, listening to records, gossiping and flirting. For the younger crew, the shed in the back of Sharon’s cottage would become a beauty shop or any other enclosure required for role-playing and dress-up. We LOVED that shed! Sometimes, one of the older girls conducted a dance class. And much time was spent on paint-by-numbers, Colorforms, cards, bubbles, nature hikes, gathering blackberries for pies and puzzles.
Even when it was nice, the really little kids, when they weren’t swimming or in boats, depended on beaches or sandboxes. Nothing was better than a pail, shovels and molding materials. (Except for the time Cousin Dennis decided I should actually EAT a mud pie ...)
When I came to New York and ended up in the Hamptons, I saw the same situation happening with the children. One rainy day, with my friend Dianne Brill’s baby, Keenan, on my lap, I pulled my arm up into my sweater sleeve and created a puppet. When I met him as a teen, he neither remembered me nor the masses of toys I had gifted him with, but he certainly remembered Sweater Monster! Even Brill’s younger daughters had heard the legend of Sweater Monster!
To think of all the money I could have saved ...
What I’m saying is, it is never necessary to dazzle children with expensive items or pastimes. Despite all the electronics available, there is a lot to be said for simplicity, not only for the cost, but for developing imagination, independence, self-discovery, and creativity.
In addition, how many of us are stumped for the perfect gift to bring to people who don’t need gifts? Isn’t it easier to bring something for their children or their pets? I think so. And, I’ve found that those items seem very much appreciated.
Which brings us to ETCETERA GIFTS (362 Third Ave. NYC 10016. 212.481-6527). Recently relocated from its original Murray Hill location, TOBY KUTIS VALENTE’s shop has been a neighborhood mainstay for 25 years.
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| TOBY KUTIS VALENTE DISPLAYS HER GIFT WRAPPING PROWESS. |
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It’s evolved from a cosmetics store to “Home, Jewelry, Baby, Stationary” (as it says in the window). “I used to do makeovers, then carried a little jewelry, and then this!” Says Valente, waving her hands. What began her evolution was dealing with bridal needs, from stationary to gifts. “I’m on the cutting edge. I can change as I shop. We don’t carry a little, we carry a lot.”
Despite all the frames, jewelry and things for the home, what first attracted me to her old shop was the clothing for children. Hers was the first shop in which I saw those amazing tutus for wee ones. When I entered, I was bowled over by all the fashion…and the prices.
The new ETCETERA has really blossomed. It’s astounding that a shop this size carries so many child-related toys and gifts. And, it’s amazing how many young women (usually with carriages) and young men frequent the place, since this location (affectionately called “Curry Hill” because of all the nearby Indian establishments) is not teaming with young families. “We’re a very big service store,” Valente emphasizes, mentioning her gift-wrapping abilities (free) and how much people trust her goods and advice.
Indeed, when I was there, a constant stream of people came in, told her generally what they needed and left the rest to her. “I never hesitate when people come in here to buy. I’m a true Gemini.” She laughs. “A man just came in who has been here three times in a short period. He bought gifts for his wife for her birthday, anniversary and Mother’s Day. He said she loved everything.” |
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